Letters to You
by Literature Rogue
Summary: In life, there are people you love. And, in life, you inevitably end up hurting those you love. It’s a fact of life. I really have a lot to say to those people, a lot to make make up for." Lucas writes his second book.
1. Prologue

**Author's Note: **Okay. This is a different kind of story idea coming from me. It's set in a slightly alternate universe, meaning all of the events up to Season Four have happened, but no one has returned to Tree Hill. Except Haley and Nathan. They still live there, and raise Jamie. Lucas did come back for a while, right after Nathan's accident. But he couldn't stay there forever. The others have moved on. Brooke's living in New York, promoting her label and being a fashion designer. Peyton's still in California. She did create her own label, however. And Lucas is in Charlotte, trying to write his next book. Basically, all of the events surrounding characters in season five did happen. Nathan did have his accident. Lucas was engaged to Lindsey. Brooke does take care of the baby. But they're all doing it separately. Oh, and the Comet book was still written. He just didn't publish it.

Now, this first chapter is Lucas struggling to meet a deadline of a new manuscript. The chapters following will be excerpts from Lucas's actual book. It might be confusing at first, but I think you'll all catch on.

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own any characters from One Tree Hill. I am only responsible for their fictional corruption. I also don't own the song Letterrs to You (by Finch), even though I stole the title.

* * *

It was quiet. The only sound that filled the apartment was the dull tapping of his fingers on the keys. The light from his laptop bathed the room in an eerie blue glow. He stifled a yawn, staring down at the document in front of him. The words all seemed to run together, and it didn't make sense. Whatever he was writing now wasn't working. He could tell that much. But he had writer's block. And according to his editor, the only way to get rid of writer's block was to write.

But whenever he wrote, all that came out was a bunch of mixed up words and sentences that didn't seem to fit. Since publishing his first book, he'd fallen into a slump. You couldn't make a living on one book. His editor told him _that_, too.

He tapped his fingers idly against the desk, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. A shoebox was lying on the corner of his desk. It was an old shoebox, beaten and weathered, and the lid was missing. Arching an eyebrow slightly, he reached out and tipped the box over, the contents spilling onto the desk and littering his laptop with several envelopes and pieces of stationary. The Brooke box.

It was actually one of two Brooke boxes. The other one was large, and filled with everything from pictures to articles of clothing. It was stashed away in his old room in his mother's house. This one followed him around wherever he went. Sometimes, when he had writer's block, he'd dig out her old letters and read them. The Brooke in those letters was so honest…so raw. He always got inspired to write after reading her letters.

He pushed the letters off of his laptop, inhaling sharply. The lingering scent of her perfume clogged his senses. Picking up one of the letters from the pile, he traced the letters of his name: _Lucas_. Her handwriting was so careful. The 'L' was bolded, as if she'd gone over it with her pen many times. His eyes scanned the letter briefly before he slid all eighty-two letters back into the box.

He opened up a blank word document and began to type.

_Letters to You; Lucas Scott._

His fingers halted upon the keyboard. And then the words began pouring onto the page, as if the keyboard had a mind of its own and he wasn't the author. After a few moments, the tapping of keys drowned out and he sat back to look at his work so far. It read:

_In life, there are people you love. And, in life, you inevitably end up hurting those you love. It's a fact of life. Every action has an equal to opposite reaction. Every choice has consequences. I really have a lot to say to those people, a lot to make up for. I should have said it a long time ago, when I had the chance. But everything's easier in writing. I wrote letters to you all, once. I never sent them._

_Just because I never sent them doesn't mean they meant nothing. They did. I just wasn't sure I worded things right, or I lost your address, or we lost touch. Those are excuses. Really, I never sent the letters because I was afraid. We all make mistakes. We all have things to apologize for. We all have things we wish we'd said. But some of these apologies and admissions are long overdue. For that, I'm sorry. I never sent those letters, but now I'll publish them in a book. Think of it as my own personal public diary. _

_My name is Logan Young, and these are my letters to you. You know who you are._


	2. Chapter 1: My First Love

**Author's Note:** Each of the following chapters will be a chapter of Lucas's book. Each one will be a letter from the main character (Logan) to someone in his past. Alright. Read on.

* * *

_Dear Kate,_

_You know, you were the first example of love I ever got. A child's first model of what it means to love and be loved is their mother. The connection between a mother and their child is timeless and powerful, and a model for all other relationships anyone ever has in life. Things were difficult. There were late nights and money problems, but in the end, we were there for each other, all the time, no matter what. For the longest time, you were my only friend. For the longest time, all I wanted to do was spend time with you, the person I looked up to and admired the most._

_But then life came around, and snatched me away from you. Around the time of the first day of kindergarten, I realized something was different about our family. All of the other kids had their mothers holding their hand as they walked into the classroom, like me. But when the time came for the annual parent-child lunch, they all had their fathers. I'd never felt different before that. But that was only the beginning of everything._

_On my eighth birthday, you planned that party, with the only people I cared about. You were there, and Kevin, and Heather. But all I asked you for was to tell me who my father was, and why he wasn't here with us now. And you did, because you loved me. _

_My entire life was spent trying to get out of my father's shadow. I know you tried to shield me from it as best you could, but it was inevitable. I mean, I had his last name. There was one thing you always taught me: hold your head high, no matter what. I'd never been ashamed of my last name before. But once you told me, it triggered a series of reactions. The people took it as their chance to talk about the same gossip they'd heard in your senior year of high school. _

_But I didn't care. As far as I was concerned, it didn't matter. He wasn't my father anyway. Technically, he was my biological father, but he was never my dad. You were my mom from day one. I don't know if I ever really thanked you for that, so I'll say it now. Thanks, for everything._

_I never told you this, but I resented you. I resented the fact that you kept him from me, at first. When I'd heard that my father had tried to gain partial custody, and you'd refused, I didn't know what to say. My entire life, I blamed him for everything: our financial situation, the gossip, and the looks of disdain. To know it all could have been prevented was almost too much for me to handle. I understand now, though. He'd have kept that over your head for the rest of your life. People like him don't change. He was only doing what his high-class family thought was right. He isn't worth it. _

_Over the years, our relationship changed. Actually, you stayed the same. You were always there, whenever I needed you. I turned into a brooding teenager who didn't need anyone's advice or respect. I ignored you when you tried to advise me and only listened when it was convenient. I was in that phase between childhood and adulthood when I thought I knew everything. It didn't matter, though. You were there when it mattered. You were always there when I needed someone to listen. You were there when I needed someone to talk to me. You were a friend when I needed one, but more importantly, you were my mother. _

_I love you, Mom. I know I don't say it enough, but there it is, in print._

_Logan_


	3. Chapter 2: My Father's Shadow

_Dear Derek,_

_It would probably be an understatement to say that I disrespect you. From day one, I've hated you. Even 'hate' seems like too weak of a word explain my feelings. Distaste? Loathing? Anger? All of those words describe how I feel when I look at you. But the one word that truly describes what it feels like when I look at you is shame. From the very first time I found out you were my father, I was ashamed. Shame is a very common theme in our relationship. I'm ashamed of you. You were always ashamed of me. But mostly, the shame comes from how it all happened._

_When I first found out that you were my father, I was stunned. I was only eight years old, after all. I didn't make the connection. Sure, Nick and I had the same last name. But it's a common name. And we looked practically nothing alike. I was wrong, of course. We had the same eyes. I just kept telling myself that to convince myself, as much as I was trying to convince others, that you weren't my father. Back then, I wasn't ashamed of you, really. Back then, I didn't really understand. But there was always that lingering feeling of being singled out when the parents would stand in the gym after practices or games and talk. I always thought I heard my name mentioned there, or at the very least, my mother's. _

_Your name was always mentioned with them. _

_As I got older, and realized why people saw me as an outsider, I was ashamed again. I regret it now, because it's so stupid, but I was ashamed of my mother. I was ashamed of what she'd done, and her choices, and how she led her life. But I quickly learned that you were the one who didn't want me at all, didn't even want to give me that chance. Once I learned that my mother struggled just to keep me alive, and then to keep me safe, I learned that she wasn't to blame for any of it. If it wasn't for my mother, I don't know where I'd be today. _

_I don't really know why I blamed her. It wasn't like there was anything she could do about it. I just needed someone to blame, because I couldn't blame myself. And I didn't think it was fair to blame you, since I didn't know you at all. How wrong was I?_

_I was in that stage where I just wanted to fit in, and having your last name made me stand out. Everyone knew. I was the outsider in a small town. There was never a time where I was ashamed of my last name. When I learned who you were, and what kind of person you were, I was ashamed. But I kept that name, because I wanted to prove to you, and to everyone else, that just because you're the way you are, doesn't mean I have to be that way. My last name is who I am. You can't take it away from me._

_You never really did anything for me. Even when you gave me something, you always had some sort of ulterior motive. You took away my dignity. You took away my mother for a short period of time. You kept me close under your watch. I never really thought you were trying to get to know me, but deep down I always sort of hoped you'd changed. But you've never done anything in my best interest. You took away the closest thing I ever had for a father, and I can't forgive you for that. Ever. _

_The best thing you ever gave me was your last name, and I don't think you even deserve claim on that. So, there you have it. You're ashamed of me, and I'm ashamed of you. I guess we're even._

_Logan_


	4. Chapter 3: My Best Friend

_Dear Heather,_

_It seems like only yesterday that it was just you and me. We grew up together. Your parents were practically the only people in town who didn't cast me aside like some kind of stray. You're like a daughter to my mother. She loves having you around. As much as she loves me, having a little girl around made her world that much brighter. And you were my only friend for years. For that, I thank you. Over the years, things have changed and things came between us, but I'll always be there for you. We made a promise, after eighth grade. Do you remember?_

_Of course you do. It was all your idea. Everything we did was always your idea. It was near the end of summer, and the days were beginning to get shorter. The nights were getting brisk, but we didn't care. We'd spent our evenings up on the roof of my mother's café, just watching stars. That was the year we saw the shooting star. I pointed up to what I presumed was a falling star, and you squealed and took my hand. It wasn't weird, though. We did that all the time. We were so close that I barely even noticed your touch anymore. It was just natural. You said, "Make a wish, Logan. It always comes true when you wish on a shooting star."_

_A few seconds of silence later and I asked you, "So, what'd you wish for?"_

_You were stunned at my obliviousness. "I can't tell you or else it won't come true." But I shot you that wounded puppy expression and you softened. "I wished that nothing will change us, Logan. It's a whole new world next year, and I just want it to be like this forever. You and me." From that year onward, we had our little ritual. We'd write down our hopes, dreams, and wishes for the following school year on the last day of summer. Most of them never came true, but we had fun laughing at our stupidity. _

_Those dreams and wishes and thoughts were usually dismissed once the school year ended. We'd have new desires and dreams to chase, then. But the one that always remained on my little slip of paper was the one that we'd always remain friends. At least we know some things can come true._

_You were there for me, always. It didn't matter if it was midnight or Christmas or your five year anniversary. Whenever I called for you, you'd be there, usually within thirty minutes. Throughout everything, you never left my side. There was the whole illegitimate child issue, and we got through that year that everyone assumed we were dating. I got through the year you left. You got through my heart attack. We got through James, and that was probably the biggest one of all. As long as we were together, we could get through anything. As long as we still had each other, the world didn't seem so big._

_But things change and life moves fast. We haven't seen each other for months. It's probably the longest we've been apart in our lives. I honestly can't remember another time where I didn't see your exasperated expression over whatever problem I was having, except our Junior year of high school. And you had to come out and visit me. I haven't been home in four years. I know we promised to keep in touch. I know I promised to visit. But things are different now. Things are complicated. I'm in Charleston, and you're at home. At least we know some things never change. I will come back, Heather, and I know when I do you'll be waiting._

_After all, you did promise you'd be home when I returned. You probably didn't realize at the time that it'd be four years later. But you're staying. And I will be back. I promise._

_Logan_


	5. Chapter 4: My Brother's Keeper

**Author's Note: **Just a note from last chapter. The 'James' mentioned in the last letter is a reference to Jamie.

* * *

_Dear Nick, _

_You know, I knew who you were way before you knew who I was. Well, I know we both met in junior league basketball. But you didn't really make the connection, did you? Or you did, but you chose not to acknowledge it. I'm still not sure which answer is right. Anyway, I liked to watch you sometimes, during games or practices. I noticed things we did the same. We both had the same form, even if I had the better _fade_-away. Mostly, I looked at how your father treated you. Even then, when we were only eight years old, I could see it. He was one of those parents who was trying to relive his dreams through his kid. I understood why you put up with it, though. He was your dad. You wanted to make him proud._

_When I first met you, and you really knew who I was, I thought you were a jerk. Actually, you were a jerk. There was no thought involved. You were that guy. You know, the captain of the basketball team who can get any girl he wants. You could go anywhere in the world. You could be one of the greats. And, at that point, you'd step on anyone you had to to get there. I'll admit it. I didn't like you, at all. So, when I beat you in that one on one game, it was pretty invigorating. I knew you were all talk. I knew you were just like him._

_That's where I was wrong. I was at the games, too. I saw how he reacted when you played with the team, as a teammate, and not a solo player. That's when I started wondering why you put up with it. But then I realized that the reason was the same as nine years ago. You wanted to make your father proud of you. I still didn't really understand it, because I'd never had that relationship with my father (obviously). But I accepted it for what it was, and I blamed a lot of your behavior on him. It had to be his fault. He was a pretty bad influence. _

_Still, even with as bad as he treated you, I couldn't help but wonder what it was like. Once or twice, I even envisioned what life would have been like if we'd switched places. What if Derek had chosen my mother and yours was left to raise you alone? Would I be different? Would you? The questions still bother me. A simple choice like that made me who I am, and you who you are. But things change._

_When you started things with Heather, I wasn't happy. She's my best friend, and you were practically the devil in my life at that moment. I just knew you were trying to get to me through her, that you were just messing with her. And, while that turned out to be true, you're probably one of the best things that ever happened to her. You're her lifeline, now. I'm not around as much anymore, and I trust you with her. I know you'll take care of her. You've shown that. I know she's the best thing that ever happened to you. If it wasn't for Heather, I don't know what you'd be like today. She changed you for the better, and I'm glad she did. She brought out the Nick Young I know. She brought out the good person hidden in our father's shadow._

_I wish I would have gotten to know you earlier in our lives. Sometimes I wish we could've grown up together. It would've been so much easier to avoid our father if we had each other to lean on. Our lives would've been so different if we would've known each other better as kids. But at least I know you now. And you want to know something I've never told you? Ever since I found out you were my brother, I felt a sort of protectiveness over you. I was the big brother. I didn't want anything bad to happen to you, even if you were a jerk sometimes. I wanted to be like our uncle._

_And I let you down that night. I still blame myself for what happened. I still blame myself for the fact that all of your dreams came crashing down. I shouldn't have left you alone there. I should have been there to stop it. I should have been there to protect you. I'm sorry._

_Logan_


	6. Chapter 5: My Nephew

_Dear James,_

_You know, ever since the day you were born, I felt like I had this big responsibility to you. You're my best friend's son. You're my brother's son. You're my Godson, and most important of all, you're my nephew. When I was your age, I didn't have a great father like you do. I just had my mom. And no matter how much I love her and no matter how great she was to me, there was always something missing. Little boys need their fathers. Or, at the very least, little boys need a father figure. I had an uncle who gave me that. _

_So, when your dad was sick, I tried to be that for you. I know I could never replace your father, but looking at you made me remember my childhood. It helps that you're blonde. You remind me of myself, except you're so much more talkative and happier than I was. You have what I was missing. You have your father. But, just so you know, I'll always be here for you. When there's something you need to talk about that you can't tell your parents, I'll be there. I'll be the cool uncle. Don't worry. They won't hear it from me. _

_The day you were born was probably one of the scariest days of my life. I mean, your mother's my best friend and your father's my brother. Seeing them so panicked and running around trying to get to the hospital, all in the middle of our high school graduation, it was kind of intense. But it was really probably one of the happiest days of my life. After your parents calmed down, and after you got settled in, I was the first to hold you. And when you looked up at me with those big blue eyes, I knew you were going to be special. You were going to be the one to carry on the family name, and you'd make us all proud._

_You're only five years old, but you've already touched so many lives. The nurses even said that you had the most visitors the day you were born out of any baby they'd seen in a long time. You've got a lot of people that love you, James. Always remember that. _

_You know, when you were a baby, you used to look up at me with those big blue eyes and reach your arms up. Your first word was 'dada'. Well, actually, your first word was 'ball', since your parents were trying to bribe you into being a basketball player or a musician. But your next word was definitely 'dada'. Did you know you said it to me, first? Your father had just handed you over to me, because you were crying. You had this habit of playing with my hair (you were really disappointed when I got it cut, and the spikes went away). But you weren't crying because you wanted me. You were crying because your father was upset. He'd been yelling, and you were scared. But after you said that, you looked up at me with a confused expression and held your arms out to your dad. You said it again, and you should've seen your father's face. You're the most important thing in his life, Jamie. Your mom's life, too._

_I had to step in after the accident. Your father was in a pretty dark place. I was your uncle, I was your father-figure, and I was your friend. But I can never be to you what my uncle was to me. You already have that. You have your hero. You have your dad. But, like I said, I'll always be here for you if you need me. I love you, buddy._

_Uncle Logan_

* * *

**Author's Note: **Yeah. I'm not really sure why Lucas decided to call this character 'James'. You know how sometimes when you write, you get into a zone and you can't stop to edit things 'til the end? That's sort of what happened here. By the time I went back to read it, James was there. And, in all honesty, I think it's okay. I mean, he had to leave some sort of clue as to what he was doing, didn't he? Anyway, hope you all enjoyed.


	7. Chapter 6: My Always

_Dear Paige,_

_It's been awhile, I know. We promised that it wouldn't tear us apart. We promised that we'd still keep in touch. We promised that maybe someday, that dream we made in high school would come true. You promised me someday. You wanted me to wait. I didn't want someday. I wanted you then, and I wanted all of you. You were supposed to be mine forever. I don't know what you're doing now. I know you moved again. I tried sending a letter like this once. But this time, I know you'll get it. You can't walk past a bookstore with one of my books in the window without buying one. I'm a best-selling author, but sometimes I wonder how many of those copies are sitting at the bottom of that trunk in your bedroom. Maybe you're the one supporting my lifestyle now. I really don't know._

_I do know one thing, though. From the very beginning, there was always a you and me. From the very first time our eyes met over the headlights of your car, I knew we had a connection. The way you looked at me with that deer-in-the-headlights expression, it still stays strong in my mind. You know what they say about first impressions. They're pretty important. We didn't even exchange words that night, but that's just the way we are. I'm the quiet guy. You were too stunned to speak._

_And that's how it all began. It wasn't the epic beginning of most love stories, but it was our beginning. The beginning of the end, some would say. You were it for me, Paige. I knew it from that very first moment. I wanted you for what you were. You didn't have to change for me. The only thing I ever wanted from you was the whole thing. I wanted a house, and a white picket fence, and little blonde kids running around the yard. I wanted your art and my writing and success. I wanted it all with you. You knew I wanted it with you. You had to know. I did propose to you, after all._

_And that was it for me. I didn't understand it. We'd been together since our senior year of high school. I was happy. You were happy. At least, you said you were. I loved you and you loved me. I didn't understand why we couldn't just be together. I was always a black and white sort of person. There was yes and there was no. There was no 'maybe'. There was no 'someday'. It was now or never. I guess it turned out to be never. I get it now. We were young. If it all would have happened then, we wouldn't have been able to go after our dreams. You might not have your own record label. I might not have my own success. We had to learn how to grow up. Unfortunately, sometimes growing up means growing apart. For that, I really am sorry. _

_I realize now that you didn't want a strained marriage. It had nothing to do with not loving me. It had everything to do with our future. You didn't want me to resent you for my dreams dying. More than that, you didn't want to resent me for your own dreams dying. I'm not at home now. I've moved on. It looks like you have, too, at least for now. I should have waited for you. I should have believed in us. I should have known you needed time._

_But I didn't. I left, and then you left, and now we don't talk. But there's always going to be a you and me, Paige. We're 'true love always', remember? Things like that sort of bind you together, even when you're apart._

_I let down all of my walls for you. All my life, I spent time building up these walls to protect myself. I don't let many people inside. I don't let many people see all of me, for who I truly am. But whenever I'm around you, all of those walls that I took so much time to carefully construct all come crashing down. You do crazy things to me. I want everything. I wanted everything with you. Maybe I still do. Maybe you're still my tortured artist and I'm still your savior. Maybe we never really grew out of those people. Maybe we just locked them away for no one else to see. _

_You're the girl I fell in love with a long time ago. I know we've grown up and we've grown apart, but she's still in there somewhere. And that part of you still loves me. And part of me, a big part, still loves you. Maybe we'll have our 'someday' after all. _

_You're mine forever._

_Logan_

* * *

**Author's Note: **I actually didn't mean for this chapter to come out this way at all. I had it written completely differently, but considering what's been going on in the show, I decided to re-write the entire thing. I hope it came out okay anyway.


	8. Chapter 7: My Guardian Angel

_Dear Kevin,_

_It's been almost five years now. It's been five years since the day I lost you. I think about it every day. There were days right after your death when I blamed myself. I did that a lot back then. I mean, if it wasn't for me rushing back into that school, you wouldn't have come in after me. If it wasn't for me, you'd still be alive. And you and my mom would be happy. We'd be a family again. Or, you would. You and my mom, and your daughter. You should still be here. You should be watching her grow up and you should be the one teaching her how to drive when she turns sixteen, just like you did with me. But you're not here. You're gone, and it's all my fault._

_For a long time, I blamed myself for it all. I was in a dark place for a long time. At one point, I realized it wasn't really my fault. Sure, I'd gone running back into a school with a shooter on the loose. But I didn't tell you to come after me. And it didn't take me very long to figure out that you would've gone inside anyway. You weren't even in there for me, really. I mean, you went in to stop the shooter, which inevitably would have gotten me out safely. But even if I hadn't been in that school, you probably would have gone in after him. After all, you are who you are. And you were a good guy, Kevin. You would have gone inside of that school if anyone you knew was inside. You were just that kind of person._

_So, for a brief time period, I blamed you. I wondered how you could ever be so stupid and selfish as to run into a locked-down building. You left my mother alone. She was completely and utterly disoriented for weeks after your death. I couldn't comprehend why anyone would go in there. I didn't really talk about it. It was just this heavy weight resting on my shoulders. I tried to decide who was really to blame: me or you._

_In the end, I decided it wasn't really your fault. If anyone was to blame, it was me. Eventually, I even stopped blaming the shooter for your death. He'd been my friend, and he didn't seem like that kind of person. But I still couldn't shake the feeling that if only I hadn't gone into that building, if only I hadn't been so stupid and selfish, you'd still be alive. That's when I got my first taste of my own personal guardian angel. I know it was probably some sort of dream, caused by that heart attack I'd had. But, anyway, you taught me lessons even in death. You showed me that it wasn't my fault. You told me that if I hadn't gone back into that school, my life would be completely different. But more importantly, you showed me how others' lives would be changed if I'd gone back and been selfish. I'm sorry I blamed you. I'm sorry I blamed myself. We both know it was neither of our faults. It was just your time to go, I guess._

_But I can't help but feel like you didn't get to teach me everything you wanted to, that you didn't get to live your life the way you wanted to. I feel like you're still around sometimes. Whenever things get tough or when I have to make a hard decision, I swear I can hear your voice in my ear. But when I look around, there's nothing there. I try to convince myself that it's only the wind, but I can practically see your amused smirk when I try to explain the unexplainable. You weren't done teaching me. You weren't supposed to die. So I like to think that you stick around, just to help me out in my hard times._

_I try not to think about it as much anymore. I try not to remember that day. But we all carry it around with us, everyone who experienced it. But you're the closest thing to a father I've ever had. It's kind of _

_comforting to think that you haven't left me yet. It's good to hear your voice. It lets me know you haven't left me alone yet. Because as much as I'd like to say I'm grown up, I still need guidance now and then. _

_Logan_

* * *

**Author's Note: **This chapter was really hard to write. Honestly, I've had all of the other chapters pre-written and laid out in a nice, neat Word Document for about a week now. This one eluded me for a long time. I finally sat down and wrote it today, since I realized Chapter Seven was next and I hadn't updated yet. So here it is. I'm not sure I'm competely happy with it, but then again, when am I ever proud of my own work? Anyway, hope you enjoyed it.


	9. Chapter 8: My Forever

_Dear Brianna,_

_It's been a long time. I know it's a vague statement. But it has been a long time. It's been a long time since I've seen you, or talked to you, or even knew where you were. It can't be healthy, the way you're avoiding me. I know things ended on a pretty…open note between us, but that doesn't mean we can't still talk. I mean, we were friends. I would say 'we were friends first', but considering our history, that would be a lie. We were a couple first, and then we were friends. And then we were a couple again. It was a cycle we couldn't seem to break. The funny thing is we were good together. I don't think it's really possible for us to exist as friends. There's evidence of that. One of us always ends up getting in too deep, and bringing the other one down with us. _

_So I guess I understand why you're avoiding me. We don't have the best track record. But it's been a long time since we talked. It's been even longer since we've been together in the same room. Was it James's first birthday? That's the last time I was in Tree Hill. You were there, too, I remember. But there was that one night, in New York. I was there for business, and I knew you lived there. It was before you'd changed your cell phone number, since you answered and all. It was a good night. We talked like old times. We had fun. You were always the one who could make me have fun._

_Of course, I was the one who messed up. Again. That seems to be a common factor with you and me. We get together, we start out strong, and then I screw up somehow. Whether it's picking your best friend over you or just kissing you when we're obviously over and you're obviously not ready to let me back in, I mess up. But you once asked me if I could go back and if I could change one thing what it would be. I would want to change a lot of things. I wish I wouldn't have been so indecisive. I wish I wouldn't have taken you for granted. I wish I would have treated you better. But if I could only change one thing? _

_I'd change our relationship. Not everything about it, because like I said before, we were good together. Or, maybe we weren't. We were teenagers, and we were really, really hormonal, but we were in love, too. I know we were in love. Because after the initial excitement of a new relationship, I still wanted to be with you every moment I could. I could lay there for hours and just watch you sleep. You were the funniest sleeper. You'd start out curled up into a ball and by the end of the night you'd end up in my arms. And I really didn't mind it when you hogged the bed. It was just part of your charm, I guess. _

_Looking back on it, I guess there's not much I would change about our relationship. When we were together, I was happy. And you were happy, too. I could tell. You lost a little bit of your spark after we broke up. But you're bold, and beautiful, and brave. You're Brianna and you're going to change the world some day. I'm sure you realize that now. I think your spark returned, too._

_I wouldn't change a thing about my life. I think maybe we have to go through all this stuff to get to the places we want to be._

_The last night we were all together, it rained. I remember because, even though you'll never admit it, you hated the rain. And you're definitely afraid of thunderstorms. Everyone else had gone home, and I was there, shooting hoops. Just like it used to be. And you came back to the Rivercourt, because you knew I'd _

_be there. There was something about us that always struck me as odd. When we were together, I could almost always guess what you were thinking._

_I know you wish I would have let you in more, but you were there for me that night. That night was one of the hardest in my life. Everything we ever knew was breaking apart. We were all going off to separate places. We didn't even talk, really. You just opened your car door and let me sit in the passenger's seat and we watched the rain pour down. It was quiet, but it was one of those comfortable silences. I needed someone that night, Brianna. I needed someone to make it all okay. You were that person._

_We promised that night, both of us. You promised to keep in touch. I promised to come back after four years. I guess some things never change. We were never good with promises to each other. But, just so you know, you were the one for me once and I was the guy for you. Life just got in the way. But you know what they say. The people who are meant to be together always find their way back in the end. I love you, Pretty Girl. And a part of me probably always will. _

_You're mine forever._

_Logan_

* * *

**Author's Note: **A little note on how I named this chapter (and the Peyton Chapter). We all know that Lucas has always been indecisive when it comes to these two girls. And even after he finally picks one, the other one's still going to be a part of his life, his past, his history. So Peyton and Brooke are Lucas's 'Always' and 'Forever'. Yeah, I stole it from Naley. But, in all honesty, it came from the Leyton's 'True Love Always' and then the mirror in Brooke's locker saying 'Lucas and Brooke forever'. Just in case you were wondering.


	10. Chapter 9: My Family

_Dear Antwon and Marvin,_

_It still strikes me as funny that not so long ago, we were the outcasts. We climbed that ladder of success pretty quickly, and we became who we were always meant to be. We stepped out of our element and into theirs. A few years ago, we never would have dreamed of going the places we've been. In fact, we would have rejected the same things we came to know as just the way things are. Together, we rose from somewhere no one knew about us to someplace respected. We climbed that social ladder like there was no tomorrow. And you know what? Sometimes I wonder why we even bothered. Because every time I do return home, I end up at the court by the river. I don't go back and relive my glory days at Tree Hill High._

_I go to the Rivercourt, because that's where I belong. It was my home for years, and it still feels like home, even when it's deserted and there's graffiti all over the backboards. One of the rims is crooked now. Did you know the new mayor decided to re-pave the court after we left? Our names aren't even there anymore. Our mark on the town is gone. But despite all that, the place still feels like home to me. It probably always will._

_You guys were there for me from the very beginning. It didn't matter what challenges we faced or what obstacles stood in our way. We were together, and we could face anything. You were my friends, you were my companions, but most importantly, you were the family I never had. I could count on you to always be there if I needed you. We had the Rivercourt. We had our place, and that's all we needed. There was us and them, and as far as we were concerned, they could do whatever they wanted. We'd still be us, and no one could take that away from us. We were who we were. We were the kids from the Rivercourt. And that was enough for us._

_But as we got older and the world around us changed, we wondered what things were like on the outside. We slowly took our few tentative steps into the outside world. When I look back on it that might have been the biggest mistake of our lives. Things would have been so much easier for me, for all of us if we'd just stayed put. Kevin would still be here. Jim, too. The Rivercourt was home. Everything there was safe and easy to understand, not like the real world. Why would we ever want to leave a place like that?_

_We left because we had to. We left because we wanted to; we needed to grow as people. And as hard as it might have been all of our lives turned out better because of it. If we hadn't left the Rivercourt, things would be different. Kevin would still be here, sure. But what about everyone else? _

_Antwon wouldn't have been able to pay for college, and probably wouldn't be negotiating a contract with the European Basketball Association._

_Marvin wouldn't have gotten to meet new people, and probably wouldn't be engaged to a certain redhead right about now._

_Heather wouldn't have met Nick. She wouldn't have her record deal. She wouldn't have her beautiful baby boy, or her husband. _

_Nick would probably still be as messed up as our father and he'd probably still hate me._

_Paige and Brianna? Well, they're probably better off without me. But no matter what anyone says, it was pretty much our leaving the Rivercourt that brought all of us together as a solid group of friends. That's something._

_And me? I never would have gotten to be with the two most important girls in my life. My brother would still be a stranger to me. I wouldn't have gotten a chance to play for the Ravens. _

_So I guess it's a good thing we left. We made a lot of lives a whole lot better because of it_

_But, through it all, you two have always stayed close to my side. I've lost contact with almost everyone mentioned in this book. I still talk to Nick and Heather, and I write James letters. But I don't talk to the rest of them. My father's in jail. My mother's overseas. I choose not to keep in touch with Paige. Brianna chooses not to keep in touch with me. But I know I can always count on you guys. You're my friends, you're my family, and you're basically all I have now. Thank you for sticking with me through it all. _

_Logan_

* * *

**Author's Note: **Okay. This is the last chapter of Lucas's book. Originally, I was going to have these two letters separate, but after watching the episode wher Mouth wishes they never left the Rivercourt/Skills makes his wonderful little speech about what wouldn't have happened if they hadn't, I merged them. And I was going to include Junk and Fergie but I feel like we didn't get to/don't get to see enough of them for me personally to write it. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter. There will be an Epilogue to this story added either later tonight or tomorrow, depending on when I'm finished with it. So, look forward to that? Haha.


	11. Epilogue

The package had come for her early in the day. It had been overnighted from North Carolina. At first, she'd wondered how he'd gotten the address. After all, she was fairly certain he and Peyton weren't speaking. But she had been keeping in touch with Haley and Nathan, because she was the godmother of their child. She hadn't really broken her promise from that night. She still talked to Nathan and Haley, and she'd even managed to fix things with Peyton. It was only Lucas that she avoided, for obvious reasons. Every time they were in the same room, the old feelings buried beneath the surface would begin to bubble. Her walls crumbled when he was around. It was just easier, for the both of them, if she stayed out of his life.

It would've been even easier if he didn't insist on prying into hers. It had to have been Haley, because Lucas can talk his best friend into anything. She shook her head slowly, running her hand over the manuscript. It didn't really make much sense that he'd sent it to her, other than the fact that he wanted to make sure she read it. She was no editor.

It was almost a completed draft. She could tell because he'd had it bound in leather, and the title was imprinted on the cover. He'd even taken the time to autograph the title page. She shook her head slowly, flipping through the last few pages.

_So, there you have it. These are the most important people in my life. They're the people I've hurt the most, and the people who've hurt me the most. But either way, they are all influences in the person I've come to be today. Without even one of them, I could be a completely different person. They all mean something to me, whether good or bad. They all deserve to know how I really feel about them. I hope this book finds all of you. I hope the addresses I have, or managed to find, are correct. If you end up buying this in some bookstore, let me know. I'll send you your money back. The least I can do is send everyone who inspired me to write this book a free copy._

_In life, there are people who help mold you into the person you become. Those people deserve to know how you feel about them. Don't let life pass you by without letting them know. You'll regret it if you don't. I never got the courage to send those letters to the people I care about. I just decided to publish them in a book instead. I don't like giving out my personal thoughts to just anyone. It's awkward and stupid. But I am an author, so writing them all down in a book just seemed natural._

_My name is Logan Young, and those were my letters to you. You know who you are._

She flicked forward a few pages.

_All names have been changed or altered for the safety and protection of my friends and family._

She almost snorted. If anyone from Tree Hill read this book, it would be incredibly easy to pinpoint just who each person in this book was. But she supposed that was the point. It was a way for Lucas to get his thoughts and feelings to everyone, without compromising their identities. Turning the last page, she found a familiar messy scrawl there. Arching an eyebrow, she found her lips curling into an involuntary smile. It read:

_Dedicated to the girl who wrote 82 letters to me over one summer. She inspired this book. You know who you are._

Setting the book aside, she picked up her cell phone. The number was still in her address book, but she simply dialed it. It wasn't something you forgot, the number of the only boy you maybe could have loved. It rang once, twice, three times. She almost gave up after the fifth ring, almost hung up when she heard his voice.

"Lucas Scott, here." He sounded tired.

"…Luke?" Her voice came out cautious. The other end was silent for a moment. There was shuffling in the background, and then he spoke again, this time his voice coming out in the familiar tone she knew.

"Brooke. I guess you got my package, then?"

A sigh. "Yeah. 'You're mine forever.' Seriously, Lucas?"

He chuckled. "I missed you, Brooke Davis."

A pause. And then, "I missed you, too, Lucas Scott."

* * *

**Author's Note: **Well, there it is. The final chapter of _Letters to You_. I know, it's open-ended. I meant to write it that way. I've become a fan of open endings. No resolution is fun to write. But, at least this one had a happy ending. Okay, maybe not exactly happy, but at least it wasn't sad. Anyway, thanks for sticking with me through the entire story. Hope you all enjoyed it.


End file.
